|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
Changes ComeOn that hill that day, as the sun swallowed the sky whole in its warm light, she stood. The warm evening breeze playing with the long stands of her hair as the tiny butterfly hair-clip tried desperately to hold together what strands had not managed to escape its clutches. She turned her head slightly to acknowledge my presence and smiled once her eyes provided her with the proof she needed. Her smile however, wasn’t the smile that I had grown so accustomed to, it seemed more like a memory of a smile that she tried desperately to bring up. It was then, in the bright summer evening, on the hill that we used to spend all of our after-school hours in, that I realized that the girl standing in front of me was not the one with the smile that rivaled the warmth of the sun. It was then that I realized that she was broken, that her heart had been trampled on and her body used.
We sat down, back to back, under our favorite tree that had now proudly started advertising names of young and ol
That One Fleeting MomentI try to remember you time and again but my memory betrays me so easily these days. Your picture comes to me but in a hazy blur, like a dream dreamt too much. It feels like your stay in my mind has over extended itself and is slowly trying to fade away into the recesses of my mind, slowing blurring away. I can remember your hair, how softly they fell to your shoulders and that tiny butterfly hairclip that tried so hard to keep it in place. I remember you smile and how warm I felt just watching your happiness overflow onto me. I remember a lot of things, things that I know aren’t important anymore, like how the trees danced with the wind that one chilly November night. I remember that make of the car that sped by so fast it has difficult for us to see, I remember that street-dog calling out to his friends but I can’t bring up for face, in all its entirety. This is all I can do now, all I can do is write to keep that memory of you alive.
I remember that night we spent on the
To an EndI want to be part of a festival and see hope spring anew. I want to watch as the night burns into day, I want to see little babies with tired eyes wake up to the brightness of the sun. I want to watch buildings rise, from the nothingness to the monolithic beauty of human achievement. I want to listen to folk singers tell their tales of days gone by. I want to run through a field of nothing only to find life budding at the roots. I want to be something, something more than a carcass of a man, more than just the envelope to an important message. I want to be like the night lights that sparkle like diamonds on a sea of darkness, I want to be that hope that keeps a broken man running. I want to live like the jaybird that sings because it has beauty to admire. I want to be someone who inspires, more than a thought, more than an idea.
But there is no beauty for me anymore, there is no sliver-lining. There are no lights that shimmer like diamonds, no stars that shine so bright. No air that br
And Now I Think of YouI miss you more today, more now than ever, more here. Fifteen days away from you and my heart cries out for release, my mind gets fogged up and my heart threatens to break out of my ribs. I long to explore those familiar mountains on your body; follow those light marks on your skin. I want to run through your lanes, marvel at the night lights that glow like fireflies through your alleyways. I miss you, I miss your cold breath on my skin, I miss all those strangers that I’ve known, all the people that I’ve grown to love. I want to grow to love your mysterious ways again, I want to taste the spices on your tongue again, I want to grow familiar with you again. I want to savor your food, want to taste your sweet sweet breath again. I miss you more, today more than ever, here more than at home.
She smiled that familiar smile that faded with every wave I waved, her happiness glowing colder with every swing. Her eyes sing a song that my being can never forget and in a moment that
OnceOnce I thought I could rule the world. Once I thought I could grow, like the branches of a tree always seeking out the sun. Once I thought I could be anyone. I thought I could sweep the table clean, thought I would wipe the white dust off the black. Thought I could climb higher and marvel in its grandeur. Once I thought I could rise like the rays of the morning sun. Once I thought I could shine like the lights in a diamond only for the trained eye to see. Once I thought I could survive, like roots always seeking out life. Once I thought I could always find my way back home. I thought I could rise, like the smokes of cigarette long forgotten. I thought I could fall, like the rain, always on the certainty of the earth. Once I thought I could fly, without wings. Thought I could find places to hide, places to turn in the mask. Once I thought I could see for miles. Once I thought I could be, more than what I am, more than what I wanted to be. Once, I thought I could be magnificent.
Unspoken ConversationsShe rested her head on my shoulder and spoke to me that night, as the night slowly drooped into darkness and silver star-dust sprinkled itself like ambers across the cold night sky. She spoke of days gone by, of childhood lost and redreamt, of lingering love lost, of better days to be lived, of the darkness. She told me about the little sparkle in the corner of her eye, of the little fold on her cheeks everytime she smiled, of the little man with the clenched fist that ruled the chambers of her heart. She spoke of the broken-winged bird caged but singing for freedom, of the pianist with broken fingers and a masterpiece on his mind, of the little girl with bombs to be dreamt. Our souls fused into one that night, as the lonely street dog started to sing, as the lonely man with skin drooped with age sent out a heavy sigh into the emptiness of his empty room, as the lonely young boy with tear-stained cheeks cried for a mother in a sea of wolves. She told me about her fears, about the queas
A Greater SorrowYou came to me in my dream last night and my heart slowed. You were as radiant as I remember, full of life smiling a smile too big for that little mouth of yours. You weren’t doing anything special, just standing there, in a light too bright for my eyes but I didn’t look away. Even if the light burned my corneas, I wouldn’t look away. Maybe that part of me turned numb at the sight of you, the part that told me that I was in pain. The hole that my heart had learnt to skip over, the hole that had drown my life in.
There were so many things I wanted to ask, so many answers that had floated within the dark chasms of my mind that I could never be sure. I wanted to talk to you then, like we’d never spoken before. I wanted to tell you things my mind wouldn’t. I want to relearn your existence to find those hidden valleys in your body again but you never came. I ran to catch up with you, ran with every molecule of my being but you never came any closer. I pleaded w
Numb“Why are we always so numb,” she said to me, watching the trees pass by. The autumn leaves were turning and the forest floor was a carpet of forgotten greenery. She didn’t turn to me as she spoke, she just eased into those words so effortlessly. Birds sang somewhere in the distance, a tree branch creaked, dogs barked.
“I think people are so busy in their own lives, so busy finding wealth, so busy trying to be someone that we turn numb to everything else. We have nothing, nothing to complete us, nothing to feel,” she said tapping the glass separating the outside world. Fumbling around the insides of her brown leather handbag, she produced a box of cigarettes. Flicking the flint of her lighter, she inhaled long only to breathe out a cloud of grey smoke. She slightly rolled the window down and the watched the cloud find freedom. “We are always filled with anger, with hate that we need to brush with people just to feel again. Feel, even if only for a sec
MusicThat night you sang to me, your words felt like a thousand unopened love letters. I told you stories like secrets and your chords stuck just the right corners of my heart. And i missed you then like I thought i never could, in those silences in between your songs. Your images flooded these old caverns of memories in my mind. And I knew I wanted to hold you like the moon does the sea. Those stars in the emptiness of the sky hanging like promises we never kept. Like promises lost in between those oblivion folds of time. Our souls like flickering flames of light, I traced your regrets like shadows in the night. And I wrote an ending then like the full stop that soon followed your music.
The Black CatNew York in July can at times be rightly described as a hell hole, the heat so oppressive that your utility bills have to soar or you bake even at night. In the old days, the trade in ice blocks to cool the air was immense, but these days air conditioning has taken that place.
Even with that, however, some people prefer to sleep with the window open, and on this particular July night Cissy Barker had the window of her apartment open and the air conditioning going full blast. Even with that, however, she slept restlessly, as she kicked the covers off and lay in her grey silk top and shorts.
She mumbled something in her sleep, reflecting the dreams she was having – unaware of the shadow that passed her window, or the rustle of the curtains as they were moved to the side and a figure came in.
The woman wore a black leather jacket zipped up to her neck, tight black leggings and mid-length suede boots. Soft leather gloves covered her hand, and a stocking was pulled
Awaiting the StormShe awaited the storm. She’d been waiting all winter for a good storm. Bring on the thunder, she thought, bring on the lightning. She craved the crash and boom of thunder, the electric streaks of lightning. She’d heard a roll of thunder. Not a crash or boom as she craved, but a rolling across the sky, deep and long, but not shocking or loud. The lightning was just a brief flash of light, no distinct bolt.
It seemed the storm would disappoint her. It was silent; the moon peeked out of dark clouds, its silver light diluted. She sighed, it seemed she’d have to wait longer for a proper storm. Still, she watched the sky, nose pressed to the glass of her window, her blankets spread around her.
She should be sleeping, she had work to do tomorrow and it was after midnight. But she couldn’t tear her gaze from the ever shifting clouds. It wasn’t raining, and, save for a few gusts, the wind seemed calm. The thunder and lightning must have just been a tease. Mother Na
Artyom (1)The crack of metal on wood split the heavy silence of midday as Artyom’s fist pounded the door, protected by a half-inch of brass. He grunted and punched the door again, splintering the wood. He punched one more time, gritting his teeth with the effort, and the door gave way, sliding an inch or two forward and opening a gap wide enough to push his arm into. The first thing the Russian did, however, was pull the combat knife off of his hand, flip the safety off of the G3 he was carrying, and scan the wasteland of a neighborhood behind him. Sharp, blue-grey eyes picked out details from behind the red visor of his pre-war helmet: the dust blowing through the skeletons of houses, the click of the Geiger counter attached to his belt, the massive, limping tracks of some poor bastard, too mutated to even call natural, let alone human, who’d passed though maybe a week ago. Artyom sighed, still alert but at least no longer uneasy. He turned back to the library and pushed his hand in
Dragonfly DreamsTiger cub, dozy and playful, adventured to the water's edge, chasing a dragonfly's laughter.
But dragonfly danced a little too far, spiralling up and over the blue of the water to the blue of the sky, away through the canopy beyond.
Tiger cub stopped, a little forlorn, and sat at the bank, jostled by the reeds to wait for the dragonfly there.
Because, for all of his stripes, cub couldn't cross the river.
So he sat, and he waited, and he watched the sunlight scatter across his dreams.
And he sat, and he waited, but the water kept on flowing. The sun set. And rose. And set again. And the aching of his stomach matched the aching of his heart.
Whispering river, dancing skies; blurring and grey at the edges. Too tired to stand, too hopeless to mewl, tiger cub curls into a ball and fades away.
Because no-one ever showed him. No-one thought to say. And for all of his need to chase happiness, cub didn't know tigers could swim.
Words and DreamsI create, I imagine, I write. I bring eloquent memories to life, tell stories about beautiful girls with hearts that would melt in the summer sun, talk about nature in fascination. I am a creator, I breathe life into people and plan memories like an architect constructing a complex ideological heart that beats like the ones in real life and breaks like the ones in real life. I can create eyes that curve like the beautiful eyes of newborn kittens, I can write about the warm breath of a teenage girl, I can bring back people that have already turned into ashes and blown with the wind but always in dreams.
I die, a little, every time I write. My heartbreaks every time my fingers long for the familiarity of a pencil, my eyes swell every time my mind longs for escape. Where are the people I long to create? Where are the people I spend hours of my time breathing life into? Where are the beautiful girls whose hair smells like oranges and whose eyes shine like the millions of stars in the sky?
Keep in Touch!
Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More